"It's Christmas! I haven't missed it after all."

I just experienced my first Christmas as a retiree.  We live in a new home and this was our first opportunity to celebrate the season here.  I discovered, after all these years, I had missed the joy of Christmas.  For that I am sad.

My work had consumed my life in such a way that I found all the decorating and activity a nuisance instead of a joy.  My wife and daughter would decorate the house and enjoy the season while I played the part of the Grinch.  I couldn't see going through all the effort to put up lights and decorations, only to take them down a month later.  Stress had robbed me of the spirit of Christmas.

But this year was different.  My life has changed so much this past six months.  Without the stress and anxiety of work, I am told that I am very different.  My wife and family marvel at the change.  A change that I hardly noticed except for the perpetual smile and overall happy disposition. 

I first noticed the spirit of Christmas in December.   I started listening to Christmas music on my home stereo.  The old songs reminded me of my childhood excitement when Christmas was approaching.  Music can take you back in time.  I began wanting to celebrate the season by decorating the house and yard, baking special foods, and wishing everyone a "Merry Christmas."

This year we did not buy a lot of gifts.  But we enjoyed the company of friends and family all the more.  We did not participate in the "Black Friday" shopping mobs.  We did enjoy the time spent with our neighbors who all placed wonderful lights in their yards. 

Every night, I sat at my computer and looked out on all the lighted beauty, while listening to Christmas music.  I had become a Christmas fanatic!  The true spirit of Christmas was felt in joy, peace and contentment.   Gratitude replaced Greed.  Love replaced Lust (for things.)  The stillness of the season instead of the noise of the world.

I am so grateful that I have de-stressed and withdrawn from the world.  I can now be still and enjoy the true gifts of life.  Peace, Joy, Goodwill toward Men.  Relationships seemed to improve during this time.  I guess I could finally show love to others.

We watched Christmas movies including the musical "Scrooge" with Albert Finney.  This is an annual tradition for our family.  When Scrooge woke up on Christmas morning after his terrifying visits from the three ghosts, he exclaimed, "It's Christmas!  I haven't missed it after all."   Those words rang in my heart for the first time.  I intend to enjoy Christmas for many years to come.