If you are a baby boomer, you will probably recognize this famous quote. It is from a fictional character named Alfred E. Newman and appeared in Mad Magazine. In the days before the internet and YouTube, we entertained ourselves by reading magazines and comic books. Mad Magazine was regular reading material around my house. I loved the satire and cartoons like Spy vs Spy. Do you remember any Mad Magazine stories? You can still subscribe to Mad Magazine. It is America's longest-running humor magazine, besides Time, Consider this my endorsement.
As I grew older and was overloaded with information from 24-hour news channels, the Internet, blogs and everything else, I found myself worrying on a global scale. It seemed the more information I received about every kind of disaster or calamity world-wide, the more I worried about it. I couldn’t help but feel compassion for all that suffering. I often wondered if it wouldn’t be better to be ignorant, stupid, dumb AND happy. Not a care in the world, or at least my own very small world.
I finally realized that this information overload was too much for any one person and it was not balanced with all the good things happening in the world. Good things never made the news. So I went from being a news junkie to a willfully ignorant news avoider. I don’t mean I completely ignored the news, but most “real” news is local. The kind of news you need to make informed decisions based on what impacts you.
I read about a study on worry which found that only 8% of the things people worried about actually happened. The researches found that 92% of the worries were imaginary, never happened or involved matters over which people had no control. So make a list of the top ten things you are worried about and scratch through nine of them. If you insist on worrying about the remaining one thing, then go ahead and worry. Like my grandfather used to say, “Worry is like a rocking-chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”
I have been a “chronic” worrier most of my life. Looking back, I realize that all that worrying was a big waste of time and energy. Worrying often simply means that you are anxious, apprehensive, troubled or fearful. These emotions are very common—we all face them from time to time. Most of the time, all worry gave me was more anxiety and depression. I would like to share with you some of the things I have learned to deal with these thoughts and emotions.
One of the best medical explanations I have read for the process of worry is:
“Worry is a special form of fear. To create worry, humans elongate fear with anticipation and memory, expand it in imagination, and fuel it with emotion. Worry is what humans do with simple fear once it reaches the cerebral cortex. They make it complex.”
Neuropsychologists tell us that worry involves the emotional centers of the brain. The brain’s emotional center (called the amygdala) reacts to potential danger by transmitting an alarm to the area of our brain behind and above our eyes (the prefrontal cortex). The prefrontal cortex analyzes the alarm (worrying, essentially) which signals further alarm back to the amygdala. Picture a vicious cycle of escalating and self-perpetuating alarm and worry between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex and you have a simplified understanding of the brain’s role in worry.
Steven Hayes stated “Your brain is not your friend.” These emotional centers were not designed to give you warm and fuzzy thoughts. Also, controlling your thoughts is not the solution. It is more likely the problem.
What fuels this vicious cycle between our overly sensitive alarm systems in the brain?
Some of these are wrong beliefs and assumptions we make or were handed down to us. Here are some examples of wrong assumptions or expectations that fuel worry:
“Because I have a thought, it is, therefore, an important thought, and I must give it my full attention and get it settled.”
Every thought that pops into our brain is not necessarily our own or important. We are often influenced by all sorts of things and words that we should not accept. We should treat these stray thoughts as “mind debris” that is floating around in your brain. Learn to accept the presence of a worried thought without having to take it so seriously and without having to get rid of it. If you must worry about it, schedule two or three “worry periods” during the day for 15 minutes. I suggest you use a rocking chair.
“Worry keeps me focused and steeled for the worst so I can’t be blindsided.” “I can anticipate and avoid discomfort by worrying.”
Some of us cannot tolerate any uncertainty in our lives and we are uncomfortable not knowing what may happen to us. (Can we say control problem?) I used to imagine the worst possible outcome of a situation, so when the outcome did happen I would be emotionally prepared for it. Of course, the outcome was never worse than I imagined, but I got to experience all the stress and fear associated with this stupid exercise.
“Worry shows how deeply I care.”
Does worry help those you really care about? Does worry save them from any trouble or calamity? Of course not! When we think about it, we see how irrational this thinking can be. It would be more helpful to take some form of action to help those you love. Develop a plan for action--not the “right plan” or the “perfect plan”- -just a reasonable plan. Ask yourself these questions:
What is the perceived threat to you or your loved ones vital interests?
How are you or your loved ones vulnerable?
Do you really have the facts?
What positive actions can I take to help including staying out of the way?
Once you have a plan, don’t keep checking on it—store it. In general, some kind of action is usually preferable to spinning your wheels. At the least, call and express your love and concern and tell them you will be praying for them.
Here are some irrational beliefs that you should eliminate from your thinking:
“The world should be fair and just.”
“I must be liked by everyone.”
“To be worthwhile, I must be thoroughly competent & exceptional.”
“I should be free of pain, hassle or discomfort at all times.”
“I cannot bear it when things are not as I would like them to be.”
“I can avoid discomfort by worrying.”
If you eliminate these beliefs, you will save yourself from a lot of worry.
I won’t try to bore you with all the strategies and information available to deal with worry. You can find a lot of good information on the Internet. I just want to assure you that there is a cure for worry.
If all else fails, and you are convinced you are hard-wired to worry. If you are a “meta-worrier” and you worry about worry. There are some excellent medications that will help.
For some people, the following quotation applies:
“The certainty of misery is better than the misery of uncertainty.” (Pogo)
