Congatulations to Ron Wilson

Thanks Ron for being the first to sign on my blog.  We boomers need to stick together.  Go Baylor Bears!

What does it mean to retire?

I have four days until I retire from working for 40 years.  Truthfully, I have been working all my life.  But this retirement is from a professional career after college.   For a man, work or a career usually means more than just a job or security.  It means a sense of identity, a picture of who you are and what you chose to do with your life.  Although it shouldn’t be – for most men, you are your job.

So, what do you do when you are no longer the professional doctor, lawyer, or engineer?   Does it all end and you just fade away?   Not really.  But a lot of thoughts and emotions go through your head.  Some of the emotions are relief from the stress and the problems that work brings.  Other emotions are the memories of good times and friendships along the way.  But, make no mistake, all men and women go through a process of letting go when they retire.

Fortunately for me, I experienced a “trial” retirement from 2005 to 2006.   It was not planned and we were not prepared for it, but it did teach us what we needed to do to adjust to this new chapter in our lives.  I worked part-time for the same company and got to do a lot of enjoyable things, but after a while I was bored and missed the interaction with people.  My career involved so many hours and consumed so much of my life, that I had no hobbies, social life or interests outside of the work place.   So, before you retire, take some time to think of what retiring really means. 

Let’s start with the dictionary.               

re·tire:  verb \ri-ˈtī(-ə)r\ re·tired, re·tir·ing

1: to withdraw from action or danger : retreat 

Does retire really mean to withdraw from action?  Why can’t retire mean advance instead of retreat?  For the first time in most of our lives we can finally do or pursue what we always wanted to do.   The job or career we chose may not have been the only thing that interested us in life.  In my case, I followed the advice of my parents and other adults who in the wisdom of the 1960’s told me to get a good college education, go to work for a large corporation, and when I reached middle age I would be in a nice middle management position and the company would take care of me.  I did that and began my engineering career in 1973.   However, I found that working for a large corporation did not guarantee a long career and most certainly did not ensure good treatment when I reached middle age.  

By the time I was in my 50’s many corporations had come and gone.  Downsizing was in vogue and there were no middle management positions left in the organizational chart.  Just an elite group at the corporate level and the rest at the plant level.  I survived many downsizings, mainly by agreeing to take on the work left over.  I was doing the work of five employees by the time I reached age 55.  The demands of the job and the stress level were high.  The corporation was anything, but paternal and usually acted more as a slave driver.  As my last boss said, “What were you thinking?”

So, I would agree retiring is a retreat from “danger” in the form of a stress-induced heart attack, but it shouldn’t be a retreat from “action.”  In fact, when I reached 55, I decided to take action.  My wife and I realized we had no choice but to stay in our jobs because we had too much debt.  Debt limits your options.  We decided to get out of debt any way we could.  It wasn’t an easy road, but we put a plan in action and within four years we were out of debt.  If working as a Greeter at Walmart makes me happy, now I have that option.

2: to withdraw especially for privacy 

Does retire mean to withdraw from others and to isolate yourself?   Privacy is good, but the isolation of retirement isn’t.  We need interaction with people to remain healthy emotionally, just like we need exercise to remain healthy physically.   Sometimes that interaction is family, sometimes it is friends.   Many times it is neither.   One of the hard truths about getting old is you start losing your family and friends.   Having the means to meet new people is a necessary skill as you grow older.  That means you must develop the type of smile and winning personality that attracts others.   My wife is blessed with a beautiful smile.   She can sit on a bench and in 15 minutes, some one will be sitting next to her and having a conversation.  Once she went to the huge Macy’s in New York City.  She was so tired from shopping that while waiting in the lobby for me to pick her up, she just sat down on the floor.  After a short while, several women were sitting on the floor next to her.  They began chatting and laughing.  The crowd began to grow and Macy’s security became concerned.  I guess they thought it was a protest or something.  Fortunately, I showed up just in time to keep her from getting arrested.  Melissa found New Yorkers to be just as nice and friendly as Texans.   Of course, she has never met a stranger.  

3: to move back : recede 

Does retirement mean moving back?   Well, usually it does, but not in the sense of receding.  Many retirees decide to move into a smaller house or a warmer climate.   It is often their last move.  This may mean they find a convenient place to live, but often they are more removed from people they know.  The less familiar surroundings and the loss of things to which they were accustomed cause problems.  I have learned that people are more important than places.  We may think we don’t need people in our lives, but we do.  We often need people who need us.  I know we have spent a lot of our time and money helping others and now we are on a fixed income, but there are more needs than just money.  Our family needs a connection to the past even if they don’t think so.  Respect for elders isn’t just a commandment in the Bible.   It has a purpose.  Taking time to hear “living” history reminds us of what others suffered and how blessed we are today.  In America, each generation has had a better life than the last.  This should give younger people hope for the future even during bad times.  Our stories and remembrances although boring to some, provide a living testimony for others.   Stay close to people and plant the seed of hope for another generation.

4: to withdraw from one's position or occupation  

Retirement does not mean the “conclusion” of your life.  Your life is far from over.  How do you know you won’t achieve a higher “position” than the one you just left?  In many cases, it is time for the second or third act in a long drama that is your life.   Find what you enjoy and are passionate about and begin doing something that makes you happy.  What an opportunity.  For the first time in your life, you have the luxury of “time.”   ‘What if you have all the time in the world?”  What would you do?   For one thing, you would no longer worry about time.  You would have time for several “careers.”   Time to learn and master new things even though you make mistakes. Time to develop relationships.   A wise man once told me “Don’t live by the calendar.”   Which means: Don’t assume you are supposed to graduate from school at a certain date, or marry on a certain date, or achieve some success at a certain date, and if you don’t you are a failure.   History has many examples of people who achieved their dreams much later in life.  I have been told with the cracking of the DNA code, modern medical science will find ways for us to live 120 years.   That is half of your life if you retire at 60.   Quit thinking you are running out of time.

5: to go to bed 

Well, this is one definition of “retire” that appeals to me.   When I was trying my “experimental” retirement, I found I took a lot of naps.  I told Melissa I was going to make a sign that read “Chores are optional, but naps are mandatory.”   I tend to enjoy sleep.   But, now that I am about to retire, I find I am too excited to sleep.  There is so much freedom to do anything you want that you don’t want to waste time sleeping.  I have found Melissa is more active and productive since she retired.  She started writing a book and will be finished by the end of her first year of retirement.  She has reconnected with family and friends and is a constant source of encouragement to them.  She has such a zest for life that she is constantly asked to join groups of others.   Melissa and I joined the YMCA to get our health back.  With this new exercise habit, we will have more muscle, more energy and much better health to keep us going.   We spent our health making money in our younger years.  We don’t want to have to spend all our money to buy back our health in our retirement years.  

So  WHAT IS THE MEANING OF RETIRE?   Well, I have decided to replace the word “retire” with the word “renew.”  I am not beginning retirement, I am beginning renewal.   I plan for the next decades of my life to be the best I have ever lived.   Every morning I wake up, I will say, “Good Morning, Lord” instead of “Good Lord, its morning.”   I will look for ways to encourage others and give them hope.  I will get in the best shape of my life, so I won’t creak and pop when I walk.   I will stay active and learn new things, pursue what I love and enjoy every bit of my life.  I will live as if I have all the time in the world and money is no object.   And when I die, I will have no regrets, no grudges, no unforgiveness and no worries.

So join me for the best is yet to come.